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Flexible focus for better writing

  • mrtedmaul
  • Jun 4
  • 3 min read

Here's something I've learned which has vastly improved my writing and – even more importantly – my rewriting: Don't always view your stories in close-up.

I tend to write from an almost cinematic viewpoint. It's almost like being the director of my own imaginary movie: I'll visualise the location, place my characters where I want them within it and then, as I write, let my 'actors' run through the scene.

It's a method that works for me, especially as I try to speed through early drafts. The danger, though, is that I can become so focused on small details I lose track of the bigger picture.

One scene from 'End of a Century' changed my outlook on writing – and I have my wife to thank for it. I was on the second draft of the book and gave my work in progress over to my wife for her comments – and she immediately noticed something I'd missed through two drafts.

It's a scene where the book's male lead, Des, meets our female lead, medical student Poppy, in the west end of Glasgow one Saturday morning. Des is hungover and a little fragile, but has only recently met Poppy and is keen for any excuse to spend time with her. Awkwardly, he asks if she wants to go for a bite to eat, and they head to a nearby cafe.

Photo by Donald Tong/Pexels
Photo by Donald Tong/Pexels

There, Des, repeatedly clumsy in Poppy's presence, manages to lean too far back in his chair and tips over backwards.

In the early drafts, I was meticulous about Des's state of mind, his anxiousness, his hungover fragility, the precise actions that lead to him overbalancing, the sensation of his arm hitting hard wooden floorboards and the spilling of his loose change and keys as he hits the ground. In the original version, Poppy helps him up, gathers his scattered belongings, and the scene continues.

But I was so intent on capturing all that close-up detail that I missed something. Something big. Something that would've been obvious if I hadn't had my 'camera' so close-in on Des's fall. My wife spotted it.

'Shouldn't Poppy be a bit more worried here?' she said. 'Shouldn't she be checking him over? She's a medical student, isn't she?'

Of course. It was a stupid mistake, and an obvious one. How could I have missed it? As 'director', I had ended up stuck in close-up mode, and wasn't paying attention to my lead actors.

Keeping my attention on Des's scattered change and keys had taken my eye off a vital character point. Of course Poppy would be concerned. Of course she would want to check Des over to make sure he hadn't injured himself. I set to work correcting the error.

It was an easy fix, and made the scene immediately stronger, as Poppy hurries to check on Des and carefully checks his arm, giving our lead characters a tiny but important moment of physical intimacy. It was a small thing, but it strengthened Des and Poppy's interaction, deepened Poppy as a character and it made the book better.

Besides all the usual fixes, improvements and polishes, that's the kind of work that makes the biggest difference as each draft of a book progresses: Keeping an eye on the characters, making sure they're true to themselves in every situation. 'End of a Century' went through eight or nine complete drafts, and most of that work went into making sure Des, Poppy, Sanj, Roy and the rest ended up as people rather than just a writer's playthings.

Make no mistake – fine detail is crucial. Continuity, sentence construction, grammar, punctuation ... all that fun stuff has to be right or you'll lose your reader's confidence. At the same time, you won't hang on to a reader who doesn't believe in your characters, their behaviour or their interactions. That means learning to shift your focus from close-up work to wider angles where necessary.

Get the details right, but remember not to get lost in them. Pull back every now and again to take a look at the bigger picture. The people you're writing about will thank you for it, and so will your readers.

1 Comment


Reef
Jun 04

Thanks for your sharing and helpful knowledge

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This is the blog of Scottish writer Paul Carnahan, where you'll find occasional updates on writing projects, along with old photos, random ideas, inconsequential witterings and assorted other oddities. Anything else you'd like to see here? Email me via the form at the bottom of the page!

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